icon Films On Freeview - Monday 1st May 2017
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Mud- (2012)
00:05 - 02:25 - Mon 1/5/17 - Channel 4
6.9/10 Stars

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Two boys exploring an island on the Mississippi discover a fugitive has made his home there. He tells them he is on the run from bounty hunters after killing a man, and needs their help to be reunited with his lost love. As they ferry messages to the woman in question, the youngsters are forced to come to terms with the complexity of adult relationships. Drama, starring Matthew McConaughey and Reese Witherspoon.


The Legacy- (1978)
00:35 - 02:35 - Mon 1/5/17 - Horror Channel
5.6/10 Stars

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An American are couple coerced into taking refuge in a sinister-looking English country house, oblivious to the terrors they are about to face. Occult horror, starring Katharine Ross, Sam Elliott, John Standing and Ian Hogg.


The Player- (1992)
01:20 - 03:50 - Mon 1/5/17 - Film 4
6.6/10 Stars

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From its masterly eight-minute opening crane shot to the final blockbuster pastiche, this swingeing satire is easily the best movie about Tinseltown since Sunset Blvd. With relish, director Robert Altman turns the spotlight on the industry hands that feed him and scores a bullseye on each target in Michael Tolkin's deft script. The temptation is to play spot the star, but don't let the galaxy of cameos from such celebrities as Bruce Willis, Julia Roberts and Cher distract from the gloriously cynical plot and a towering turn from a marvellously oily Tim Robbins. He merited at least an Oscar nomination for his performance as Griffin Mill, the high-flying studio executive who is troubled by poison-pen postcards from a discarded scriptwriter, the ambitions of wunderkind Peter Gallagher and the snooping of cop Whoopi Goldberg, who suspects him of murder. This is Hollywood at its worst told by Hollywood at its best.


Gunga Din- (1939)
01:45 - 04:00 - Mon 1/5/17 - Movies4Men
6.0/10 Stars

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Two British soldiers stationed in 19th-century India are shocked to learn their comrade-in-arms is planning to quit the service and get married. However, their efforts to keep him in the army have to wait when a fanatical cult launches an uprising, leaving an unassuming water carrier with the task of saving the day. Action adventure, inspired by Rudyard Kipling's classic poem, starring Cary Grant, Victor McLaglen, Douglas Fairbanks Jr, Joan Fontaine and Sam Jaffe.


Dilemma- (0)
01:50 - 03:10 - Mon 1/5/17 - Talking Pictures
6.4/10 Stars

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1962. Crime. In this critically acclaimed British film, Harry returns home from work to be told by a neighbour that screams came from his house moments earlier. Starring Patricia Burke & Robert Dean.


Black Dawn- (2005)
02:15 - 04:15 - Mon 1/5/17 - Sony Movie Channel
4.2/10 Stars

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Former CIA agent Jonathan Cold goes undercover to foil Chechen terrorists intent on buying a suitcase-sized nuclear bomb from arms dealers and detonating it in Los Angeles. However, his cover is threatened after they kidnap a female agent who was once his protegee - leaving him in a race against time to rescue her and prevent the city's destruction. Action adventure sequel to The Foreigner, with Steven Seagal, Tamara Davies and John Pyper-Ferguson.


Sexy Killer- (2008)
02:35 - 04:20 - Mon 1/5/17 - Horror Channel
4.6/10 Stars

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Riotous horror comedy. A femme fatale fashionista at a trendy design school embarks on a brutal and bloody killing spree while gleefully evading the hapless cops assigned to the murder cases. (2008)


Galaxina- (1980)
03:10 - 04:55 - Mon 1/5/17 - Talking Pictures
1.8/10 Stars

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1980. Sci-Fi Comedy. Galaxina (Dorothy Stratten) is an android who looks after the crew on board a spacecraft. Playboy centerfold Stratten was killed by her boyfriend before this film premiered.


Charade- (1963)
03:10 - 05:00 - Mon 1/5/17 - Channel 5
7.5/10 Stars

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This absolutely wonderful comedy thriller from Stanley Donen (co-director, with Gene Kelly, of On the Town and Singin' in the Rain) nearly out-Hitchcocks Hitchcock. With a MacGuffin so clever you'll never guess, and a dream pairing of Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn on ravishing Parisian locations, what more could you possibly want in the way of movie entertainment? There's a clever plot (by Peter Stone) that never lets up, a marvellous romantic score (by Henry Mancini), star-making turns from Walter Matthau and James Coburn, and some magnificent set pieces: Grant taking a shower fully-clothed; Hepburn and Grant falling in love on a Paris river boat; and a one-handed villain in a roof-top cliffhanger. This terrific movie's got the lot. Jonathan Demme directed a disastrous remake in 2002, with Mark Wahlberg and Thandie Newton in the lead roles.


Living with the Enemy- (2005)
04:15 - 06:00 - Mon 1/5/17 - Sony Movie Channel
5.0/10 Stars

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A woman marries a widowed billionaire after a whirlwind romance, but is shocked to learn his first wife was murdered by kidnappers and that she will have to learn to live with elaborate security measures as a result. However, the more she gets to know her husband, the more she begins to suspect he is concealing the truth about her predecessor's fate. Thriller, with Sarah Lancaster and Mark Humphrey.


Terminus- (0)
04:55 - 05:30 - Mon 1/5/17 - Talking Pictures
0.0/10 Stars

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1961. Drama. Directed by John Schlesinger. Iconic short of a day in the life of a London Railway Station.


Not So Dusty- (1956)
06:00 - 07:40 - Mon 1/5/17 - Talking Pictures
0.0/10 Stars

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1956. Comedy directed by Maclean Rogers. Two dustmen (Bill Owen and Leslie Dwyer) come into possession of a valuable book but the donor's sister wants it back. Also starring Joy Nichols.


Rachael And The Stranger- (1948)
06:00 - 07:50 - Mon 1/5/17 - Movies4Men
0.0/10 Stars

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A widower marries his servant to enable his young son to have a proper upbringing. There is no affection in this marriage of convenience but things start to change. Stars William Holden. (1948)


The House of Magic- (2013)
07:15 - 08:50 - Mon 1/5/17 - Channel 4
6.4/10 Stars

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A stray cat wanders into a magician's mansion, and finds it is full of strange gadgets. The illusionist allows him to stay, to the annoyance of his other pets, but the cat proves an invaluable addition to the group when their owner's scheming nephew plots to take the house for himself. Animated adventure, with the voices of Murray Blue and Doug Stone.


Invitation to a Gunfighter- (1964)
07:50 - 09:40 - Mon 1/5/17 - Movies4Men
5.9/10 Stars

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A Civil War veteran returns home to find a ruthless landowner has sold the family house and his land has been confiscated as so-called enemy property. When the soldier retaliates by breaking into his former home and barricading himself in, the land baron hires a mysterious gunslinger to force the rebel out - but once unleashed, the hired gun has ideas of his own. Western, starring Yul Brynner, George Segal, Janice Rule and Pat Hingle.


Soho Conspiracy- (0)
08:40 - 10:20 - Mon 1/5/17 - Talking Pictures
0.0/10 Stars

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1950. Drama. Restaurant owners' daughter Dora (Zena Marshall) and press agent Guy (John Witty) plan a concert to restore a bombed church, but their plans are thwarted by a lawyer who has other plans.


Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen- (2004)
08:50 - 10:35 - Mon 1/5/17 - Channel 4
5.1/10 Stars

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A New York teenager is outraged when her parents move to a small town, where she quickly gets drawn into a bitter conflict with a local girl - until auditions for a musical give her the chance to outshine her rival. Meanwhile, she faces the challenge of working out how to get back to the big city for her favourite band's farewell concert. Drama, starring Lindsay Lohan, Adam Garcia, Glenne Headly and Alison Pill.


The Titfield Thunderbolt- (1952)
09:00 - 10:25 - Mon 1/5/17 - BBC 2
7.4/10 Stars

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Villagers try to save their railway branch from closure by taking it over as a public business - but the owners of the local bus company try to sabotage their plans, forcing them to resort to more underhand methods. Ealing comedy, starring Stanley Holloway, George Relph, John Gregson, Godfrey Tearle and Sid James.

Zoom- (2006)
09:10 - 11:00 - Mon 1/5/17 - Sony Movie Channel
5.1/10 Stars

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Imagine a mix of Sky High and The Incredibles with all the fun, laughs and clever adventure taken out and you've got director Peter Hewitt's atrocious comic-book fiasco. Washed-up superhero Tim Allen is coerced into half-heartedly training Team Phoenix - four "gifted" youngsters - for battle. What the former Captain Zoom doesn't know is the villain about to re-visit Earth is his long-lost brother turned evil by experimental government gamma rays. All of this is mirthless to a mind-numbing degree with the focus on juvenile fart, snot and burp gags. The acting is also terrible - Allen goes through the motions, love interest Courteney Cox pratfalls for nonexistent giggles and wacky professor Chevy Chase is simply embarrassing. Even the poor special effects-driven action is lame - the best bit being Team Phoenix attempting to control a malfunctioning flying saucer. It ends, as most failed comedies do, with an out-take reel over the credits. And that's not funny either!

Once Upon A Texas Train- (1987)
09:40 - 11:35 - Mon 1/5/17 - Movies4Men
4.0/10 Stars

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Twenty years after a gang of outlaws fail to rob a gold train, the leader is determined to try again. But there's competition from a younger gang... Stars Willie Nelson and Richard Widmark. (1987)

Escape Route- (0)
10:20 - 12:00 - Mon 1/5/17 - Talking Pictures
0.0/10 Stars

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1952. Crime drama directed by Seymour Friedman & Peter Graham Scott. When nuclear scientists are kidnapped, an FBI man and a British agent must find the culprit. Sally Gray's last film.

Flubber- (1997)
10:30 - 11:30 - Mon 1/5/17 - ITV 2
5.2/10 Stars

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Continuing Hollywood's obsession with souping-up the hit comedies of the past with today's sophisticated special effects, this is a smart update of 1961's The Absent-Minded Professor. Robin Williams plays Philip Brainard, a scientist who becomes so immersed in creating a new energy source that he once again misses his own wedding. But this time he has an excuse, if only his long-suffering fiancée will listen, because he has invented Flubber - a substance like rubber that generates its own energy, wreaking havoc everywhere it goes. In fact, it gives inanimate objects a life of their own, resulting in Home Alone-style attacks on baddies by everything from toy robots to bowling balls. Kids will lap it up.

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader- (2010)
11:00 - 13:15 - Mon 1/5/17 - Film 4
6.0/10 Stars

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Wonderful escapist fantasy flows nonstop in the best instalment in the Narnia series to date. Seasoned director Michael Apted (Enigma, The World Is Not Enough) deploys the usual mix of adolescent derring-do, impressive special effects and sledgehammer moral lessons with a captivating dynamism that refreshes the mythic underpinnings of CS Lewis's adventure. In what is the most Tolkienesque of the tales, the two younger Pevensie siblings, Lucy (Georgie Henley) and Edmund (Skandar Keynes), and their insufferable cousin Eustace (an absolutely brilliant Will Poulter) are whisked aboard the buccaneering ship of King Caspian (Ben Barnes, who is significantly better than in the previous film). Caspian is on a quest to find the seven lost lords of Narnia, banished by his evil uncle. needs the children's help on a quest to rid the land of a green mist that makes dark thoughts reality. They must contend with evil slave-traders, a creepy invisible mansion, a mysterious golden dragon and a scary sea serpent on their perilous journey, making for a thrilling and swashbuckling spellbinder.

The Legend of Sleepy Hollow- (1999)
11:00 - 12:50 - Mon 1/5/17 - Horror Channel
5.3/10 Stars

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This 1999 TV-movie take on Washington Irving's classic ghost story might be considered one of the most faithful adaptations, but it's also among the driest. Made the same year as Tim Burton's lavishly atmospheric version, the plodding period feature is dull and insubstantial in comparison. Brent Carver hams it up as New England schoolteacher Ichabod Crane whose rivalry for the affections of local girl Katrina Van Tassel leads him on the trail of the legendary Headless Horseman. Unfortunately, his bumbling eccentricity only exaggerates the film's overall tweeness, with stilted support and basic direction compounding the limp affair.

Over Her Dead Body- (2008)
11:10 - 12:10 - Mon 1/5/17 - 5*
5.3/10 Stars

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When Henry's bride-to-be is killed in a tragic accident, he takes his sister's advice and visits a local psychic in a bid to come to terms with the sudden death. Love unexpectedly blossoms between the grieving man and his spiritualist helper, but his ex-fiancee's ghost is determined to put an abrupt end to their burgeoning relationship. Romantic comedy, starring Eva Longoria, Paul Rudd and Lake Bell.

Around the World in 80 Days- (1956)
11:10 - 14:00 - Mon 1/5/17 - BBC 2
5.9/10 Stars

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Victorian gentleman Phileas Fogg wagers he and his loyal valet Passepartout can circumnavigate the globe in only 80 days. Oscar-winning period adventure, based on Jules Verne's novel, starring David Niven, Cantinflas and Shirley MacLaine, with cameo appearances by stars including Noel Coward, Marlene Dietrich, Frank Sinatra, Buster Keaton and John Gielgud.

Young Guns II- (1990)
11:15 - 13:30 - Mon 1/5/17 - Sony Movie Channel
6.2/10 Stars

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No Synopsis Available

Red Scorpion- (1989)
11:20 - 13:30 - Mon 1/5/17 - Movies4Men
4.6/10 Stars

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The English language - and dialogue in particular - is a tricky blighter for action stars such as Jean-Claude Van Damme and Arnold Schwarzenegger, and it also proves a problem for the heavily accented Dolph Lundgren in this awful action adventure. The makers played safe and cast the non-syllabic one as a Soviet agent, who is sent to a warring African state to take out a resistance leader. However, because Lundgren is the good guy, he has a change of heart and converts to the forces of freedom. Inexplicably, this was a big hit on video, perhaps because there's loads of mindless mass destruction, but the script and the performances make Rambo look positively Wildean.

Support Your Local Sheriff- (1969)
11:35 - 13:30 - Mon 1/5/17 - Movies4Men
6.4/10 Stars

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A high-rolling gambler takes on the role of sheriff in a crime-ridden mining town, and eventually he comes up against the notorious Danby gang. Stars James Garner. (1969)

Flubber- (1997)
11:35 - 12:25 - Mon 1/5/17 - ITV 2
5.2/10 Stars

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Continuing Hollywood's obsession with souping-up the hit comedies of the past with today's sophisticated special effects, this is a smart update of 1961's The Absent-Minded Professor. Robin Williams plays Philip Brainard, a scientist who becomes so immersed in creating a new energy source that he once again misses his own wedding. But this time he has an excuse, if only his long-suffering fiancée will listen, because he has invented Flubber - a substance like rubber that generates its own energy, wreaking havoc everywhere it goes. In fact, it gives inanimate objects a life of their own, resulting in Home Alone-style attacks on baddies by everything from toy robots to bowling balls. Kids will lap it up.

Glimpses: Aberdeen & Edinburgh In The 1960s- (0)
12:00 - 12:10 - Mon 1/5/17 - Talking Pictures
0.0/10 Stars

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Take a nostalgic trip to Aberdeen in the 60s; the harbour, the streets, the shops, Netherkirkgate, Upper Kirkgate and a short glimpse at Balmoral and Edinburgh Castle.

Kelly's Heroes- (1970)
12:00 - 15:10 - Mon 1/5/17 - Dave
7.0/10 Stars

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Clint Eastwood and Telly Savalas head the cast of this enjoyable if occasionally silly adventure yarn about a group of maverick GIs who decide to fill a lull in the Second World War by knocking off a hoard of German bullion in occupied France. Savalas and the eccentric Donald Sutherland set to their assignment with gusto, while Eastwood remains as cool and laconic as ever - even as half of Europe blows up around him. This was never destined to win prestigious prizes at international film festivals, but, despite its flaws, there are more than a few entertaining moments.

Astro Boy- (2009)
12:00 - 13:50 - Mon 1/5/17 - E4
6.0/10 Stars

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The iconic Japanese anime character makes his Hollywood debut in this sweet-natured and colourful futuristic adventure. Brilliant scientist Dr Tenma (voiced by Nicolas Cage) is devastated when his equally brilliant son Toby (Freddie Highmore) is accidentally killed during an experiment. Tenma builds a robotic replacement, but abandons him when he doesn't live up to expectations. Left to fend for himself, the robot becomes Astro Boy and discovers the true extent of his powers when an evil force threatens the world. The film presents some fairly adult themes in an understandable way, and it's also less cheesy and sentimental than a lot of animated fare. But it still packs in some exciting action sequences and impressive comic relief in the shape of the hapless Robot Liberation Front (whose leader is voiced by Little Britain's Matt Lucas).

The Woman In Question- (1952)
12:10 - 14:00 - Mon 1/5/17 - Talking Pictures
5.2/10 Stars

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1950. Mystery. Directed by Anthony Asquith. Starring Dirk Bogarde and Jean Kent. Police interview the five principle suspects in the murder of Astra (Jean Kent), an enigmatic fortune teller.

Over Her Dead Body- (2008)
12:15 - 13:00 - Mon 1/5/17 - 5*
5.3/10 Stars

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When Henry's bride-to-be is killed in a tragic accident, he takes his sister's advice and visits a local psychic in a bid to come to terms with the sudden death. Love unexpectedly blossoms between the grieving man and his spiritualist helper, but his ex-fiancee's ghost is determined to put an abrupt end to their burgeoning relationship. Romantic comedy, starring Eva Longoria, Paul Rudd and Lake Bell.

Wild Hogs- (2007)
12:20 - 13:55 - Mon 1/5/17 - BBC 1
5.6/10 Stars

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Four friends going through a mid-life crisis decide to dust off their old motorcycles and hit the open road on a 2,000-mile cross-country trip. However, a run-in with a mean biker gang disrupts their carefree adventure. Comedy, starring Tim Allen, John Travolta, Martin Lawrence, William H Macy, Ray Liotta, Marisa Tomei and featuring a cameo by Easy Rider's Peter Fonda.

Don't Talk To Strange Men- (0)
12:25 - 13:45 - Mon 1/5/17 - Talking Pictures
0.0/10 Stars

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1962. Thriller. Christina Gregg, Cyril Raymond, Gillian Lind & Dandy Nichols star in this tense and suspenseful British thriller. A serial killer is at large in the British countryside.

Rabbit-Proof Fence- (2002)
12:45 - 13:55 - Mon 1/5/17 - BBC 2
6.7/10 Stars

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Three Aboriginal children are forcibly separated from their mothers by the Australian government in the 1930s. They escape from their detention centre, embarking on a dangerous and arduous journey to be reunited with their families. Fact-based drama, starring Everlyn Sampi, Tianna Sansbury, Laura Monaghan, David Gulpilil and Kenneth Branagh.

Just Go with It- (2011)
12:50 - 14:05 - Mon 1/5/17 - 5*
6.3/10 Stars

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A plastic surgeon pretends to be unhappily married to seduce women. When his girlfriend finds his prop wedding ring, he claims he is getting a divorce and has to persuade his assistant to pose as his soon-to-be-ex-wife - but is forced to come up with yet more lies to maintain the illusion. Romantic comedy, starring Adam Sandler, Jennifer Aniston and Nicole Kidman.

Troll Hunter- (2010)
12:50 - 14:55 - Mon 1/5/17 - Film 4
6.7/10 Stars

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(2010) Weird & Wonderful: A dry-humoured fantasy-horror that exploits the folklore of its Nordic setting. Three young film-makers uncover an alarming national secret. In Norwegian/subs.

Escape from Mars- (1999)
13:00 - 14:50 - Mon 1/5/17 - Horror Channel
5.0/10 Stars

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Five astronauts embark on the first manned trip to Mars, and have to deal with inferior computers and fearsome big business interest as well as all the problems the red planet throws at them. Sci-fi drama, starring Christine Elise, Peter Outerbridge and Kathleen Moore.

Danielle Steel's A Perfect Stranger- (1994)
13:00 - 15:00 - Mon 1/5/17 - True Entertainment
0.5/10 Stars

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From the moment you see the author's name in the title, you know what to expect of this glitzy melodrama. Luxury, deception and no little passion are all to the fore as ambitious attorney Robert Urich finds himself falling for Stacy Haiduk, the trophy wife of terminally ill millionaire Darren McGavin. Under the full-blooded (ie unsubtle) direction of Michael Miller, the members of the cast give it their all. But this TV movie is strictly for soap fans and devoted Steel readers only.

Saw IV- (2007)
13:05 - 14:55 - Mon 1/5/17 - Horror Channel
5.9/10 Stars

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Sadistic murderer Jigsaw is dead, but an autopsy on his body uncovers evidence that his twisted games are far from over. A pair of FBI agents become convinced Jigsaw had an accomplice, who is picking up where he left off. Meanwhile, their investigation leads to the killer's ex-wife, who recounts the events that turned her husband into a monster. Horror sequel, with Costas Mandylor and Athena Karkanis.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon- (2000)
13:10 - 15:50 - Mon 1/5/17 - Sony Movie Channel
7.0/10 Stars

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Based on the novel by Wang Du Lu and exhibiting cinematic influences ranging from John Ford and Akira Kurosawa to The Matrix, this handsome period action romance from director Ang Lee put the art back into martial arts. Those familiar with the works of King Hu and Tsui Hark will revel in the unhurried way he reworks the conventions of the genre to explore the perennial themes of love and loyalty, duty and sacrifice. But Lee also combines brilliant stunt work with special effects to create such memorable sequences as the rooftop pursuit and the treetop battle. Chow Yun-Fat and Michelle Yeoh excel as the warriors seeking the stolen sword of Green Destiny, but the most electrifying performance is Zhang Ziyi's teenage thief.

Clash of the Titans- (1981)
13:10 - 15:20 - Mon 1/5/17 - Channel 5
6.9/10 Stars

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This star-studded fantasy adventure is almost a rerun of Jason and the Argonauts, only this time it's Perseus, Andromeda and assorted giant livestock who go through their mythological paces. Harry Hamlin certainly has the muscles to play the heroic Perseus, but when it comes to the touchy-feely stuff, he and Judi Bowker make anaemic lovers. Thankfully, Ray Harryhausen's stop-motion special effects are as wonderfully wobblesome as ever and he comes up with some memorable monsters, notably the petrifying Gorgon Medusa. Dressed in a white bathrobe and a Santa Claus beard, Laurence Olivier overacts dreadfully as Zeus, but fans of the genre will still find plenty here to enjoy. Students of architecture will note that the ancient theatre used in the movie is of late-Roman design and, therefore, out of date by several centuries.

Kill Bill Vol 1- (2003)
13:10 - 15:15 - Mon 1/5/17 - Dave
7.6/10 Stars

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A female assassin wakes from a four-year coma and promptly sets out on a campaign to wipe out her erstwhile colleagues, who tried to kill her at her own wedding - one of whom is now the kingpin of the Tokyo underworld. The first part of Quentin Tarantino's two-part martial arts thriller, starring Uma Thurman, Lucy Liu, Vivica A Fox, Daryl Hannah and David Carradine.

A League of Their Own- (1992)
13:15 - 15:50 - Mon 1/5/17 - Film 4
6.7/10 Stars

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A year before he won his first Oscar, Tom Hanks provided the laughs as an alcoholic ex-professional hired to coach a women's baseball team during the Second World War in this comedy drama. The assembled players include Geena Davis and Tank Girl's Lori Petty as sisters, Madonna as (of course) the team floozy and comedian Rosie O'Donnell as her best friend. Penny Marshall, who also directed Hanks in Big, has put together a somewhat uneven film, but any roughness is smoothed over by the talented cast and a great deal of charm and affection for the era.

Texas Adios- (1966)
13:30 - 15:20 - Mon 1/5/17 - Movies4Men
0.0/10 Stars

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A Texan sheriff and his brother cross the Mexican border in search of the outlaw who murdered their father. Stars Franco Nero. (1966)

I Could Never Be Your Woman- (2008)
13:45 - 15:50 - Mon 1/5/17 - Sony Movie Channel
0.0/10 Stars

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Michelle Pfeiffer stars in this romantic comedy as a mother who falls for a younger man (Paul Rudd), just as her daughter (Saoirse Ronan) happens to fall in love for the first time too. (2008)

The Spaniard's Curse- (0)
14:05 - 15:35 - Mon 1/5/17 - Talking Pictures
0.0/10 Stars

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1958. Thriller. Director: Ralph Kemplen. Stars Tony Wright, Lee Patterson, Michael Hordern & Susan Beaumont. A man of Spanish heritage is convicted of murder and places a curse on the judge & jury.

The Incredible Hulk- (2008)
14:35 - 15:35 - Mon 1/5/17 - ITV 2
6.1/10 Stars

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A bungled experiment blights a scientist with a primal alter ego, which causes him to turn into a monster whenever he gets angry. He travels the world seeking a cure for his condition, while a ruthless general is determined to use him as a weapon. However, one of the soldiers under his command is set to undergo a terrifying transformation of his own. Comic-book adventure, starring Edward Norton, Tim Roth, Liv Tyler and William Hurt.

Blue Smoke- (2007)
15:00 - 17:00 - Mon 1/5/17 - True Entertainment
2.6/10 Stars

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A girl is traumatised when the pizza restaurant belonging to her family is burned to the ground and vows to become an arson investigator when she grows up. Years later, having succeeded in pursuing her chosen career, the woman becomes the target of a stalker who has a disturbing fascination with the power of fire. Thriller, starring Alicia Witt, Scott Bakula and Matthew Settle.

The Gunfight at Dodge City- (1959)
15:20 - 17:00 - Mon 1/5/17 - Movies4Men
7.5/10 Stars

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A gambler becomes the sheriff of a frontier town, planning to use his position to avenge his brother's murderers - but the arrival of a face from the past muddies the water, and leaves him doubting the identity of the killer. Western, starring Joel McCrea, Julie Adams, John McIntire, Nancy Gates and Richard Anderson.

Jason and the Argonauts- (1963)
15:20 - 16:20 - Mon 1/5/17 - Channel 5
6.9/10 Stars

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In this lively adventure based on the Greek myth, our hero (a wooden Todd Armstrong) sails in search of the Golden Fleece, encountering gods, demons and Honor Blackman playing chess with the destiny of men. Made while Hollywood was plundering Roman history at vast expense, this British picture went further back in time and created a niche of its own. Special-effects epics, masterminded by Ray Harryhausen - here featuring sword-wielding skeletons and a giant man of bronze - thrilled adults as well as children who were too young for Hammer horrors and Japanese monster movies. The tepid colour is a drawback, the stirring music by Bernard Herrmann a distinct plus.

The Incredible Hulk- (2008)
15:40 - 16:45 - Mon 1/5/17 - ITV 2
6.1/10 Stars

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A bungled experiment blights a scientist with a primal alter ego, which causes him to turn into a monster whenever he gets angry. He travels the world seeking a cure for his condition, while a ruthless general is determined to use him as a weapon. However, one of the soldiers under his command is set to undergo a terrifying transformation of his own. Comic-book adventure, starring Edward Norton, Tim Roth, Liv Tyler and William Hurt.

Short Circuit 2- (1988)
15:50 - 18:00 - Mon 1/5/17 - Film 4
5.5/10 Stars

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This sequel about the former military robot Number Five, now Johnny Five, has several moments of humour (becoming involved with a bank robbery, for example), but too many minutes of tedium as it wonders whether to be social satire or pratfall parody. Fisher Stevens returns as the Indian co-inventor of the robot, and again his clichéd character is infuriating, representing the kind of prejudice Johnny Five is supposed to be against.

The Intelligence Men- (1965)
16:00 - 18:00 - Mon 1/5/17 - Talking Pictures
7.0/10 Stars

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Morecambe and Wise found the transition from TV celebrities to film stars a difficult one to make. They were not helped by the fact that, for their big-screen debut, Sid Green and Dick Hills (scriptwriters of their ITV series at the time) failed to marry the familiar Eric and Ernie characteristics that kept audiences in stitches week after week with the demands of what is, in all honesty, a fitfully entertaining spy spoof. When they do manage to rise above the material, they are very funny indeed, and nearly two hours in their company could never be considered time wasted.

Superman- (1978)
16:00 - 17:05 - Mon 1/5/17 - ITV 4
6.8/10 Stars

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This big-budget, epic-scale version of the Man of Steel legend is irresistible, fabulous entertainment. The elegiac opening - from the destruction of Krypton via Clark Kent's early years in Smallville to his arrival at the Daily Planet in Metropolis - turns more traditional comic book when Clark falls for Lois Lane, before a bright and breezy confrontation with comedic criminal Lex Luthor. The deliberate clash of styles generates much excitement and, yes, you'll believe a man can fly. Christopher Reeve is perfectly cast (though Smallville fans may disagree) and as a spectacle it's a highly satisfying confection that has set the standard other comic-book adaptations must try to match.

The Remains of the Day- (1993)
16:00 - 18:40 - Mon 1/5/17 - Sony Movie Channel
7.3/10 Stars

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This impeccable adaptation of Kazuo Ishiguro's Booker Prize-winning novel stars Anthony Hopkins as the emotionally repressed butler and Emma Thompson as the housekeeper he possibly loves. Framed in flashbacks, the story is an English twist on Jean Renoir's classic La Règle du Jeu, a broad view of a narrow class of aristocrats on the verge of self-destruction. Co-starring James Fox as a fascistic English lord and Christopher Reeve as an American diplomat (the past and present owners of Darlington Hall), it is as much a study in power and politics as it is Hopkins's blinkered view of the world from behind the gleaming silver salvers. The 1930s and 40s settings are immaculately staged, and, unlike James Ivory's earlier dramatisations of EM Forster, this picture has real backbone: Ivory's direction is alive to every nuance and chink of the sherry glasses.

The Return of Swamp Thing- (1989)
16:00 - 17:35 - Mon 1/5/17 - Horror Channel
0.0/10 Stars

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Slimy superhero action with Heather Locklear. When an evil scientist's experiments create an army of mutants and threaten his beautiful step-daughter, Swamp Thing is on hand to save the day. (1989)

Jason and the Argonauts- (1963)
16:25 - 17:30 - Mon 1/5/17 - Channel 5
6.9/10 Stars

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In this lively adventure based on the Greek myth, our hero (a wooden Todd Armstrong) sails in search of the Golden Fleece, encountering gods, demons and Honor Blackman playing chess with the destiny of men. Made while Hollywood was plundering Roman history at vast expense, this British picture went further back in time and created a niche of its own. Special-effects epics, masterminded by Ray Harryhausen - here featuring sword-wielding skeletons and a giant man of bronze - thrilled adults as well as children who were too young for Hammer horrors and Japanese monster movies. The tepid colour is a drawback, the stirring music by Bernard Herrmann a distinct plus.

Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang- (0)
16:45 - 17:45 - Mon 1/5/17 - ITV 2
6.0/10 Stars

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Family comedy starring Emma Thompson and Ralph Fiennes, 2010. Nanny McPhee helps a young mother who is trying to run the family farm while her husband is away at war.

Cavalry Charge- (1951)
17:00 - 18:55 - Mon 1/5/17 - Movies4Men
0.0/10 Stars

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Two brothers on opposite sides during the Civil War join forces to combat an all-out Indian war. Western, starring Ronald Reagan and Bruce Bennett as the sibling soldiers, with Rhonda Fleming, Bill Williams and Noah Beery Jr.

Superman- (1978)
17:10 - 19:00 - Mon 1/5/17 - ITV 4
6.8/10 Stars

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This big-budget, epic-scale version of the Man of Steel legend is irresistible, fabulous entertainment. The elegiac opening - from the destruction of Krypton via Clark Kent's early years in Smallville to his arrival at the Daily Planet in Metropolis - turns more traditional comic book when Clark falls for Lois Lane, before a bright and breezy confrontation with comedic criminal Lex Luthor. The deliberate clash of styles generates much excitement and, yes, you'll believe a man can fly. Christopher Reeve is perfectly cast (though Smallville fans may disagree) and as a spectacle it's a highly satisfying confection that has set the standard other comic-book adaptations must try to match.

Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang- (0)
17:50 - 18:55 - Mon 1/5/17 - ITV 2
6.0/10 Stars

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Family comedy starring Emma Thompson and Ralph Fiennes, 2010. Nanny McPhee helps a young mother who is trying to run the family farm while her husband is away at war.

The Karate Kid- (2010)
18:15 - 21:00 - Mon 1/5/17 - Film 4
6.1/10 Stars

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A spoilt American kid is transplanted to China in this fun remake of the 1984 children's favourite. Dre (Jaden Smith, son of Will and Jada Pinkett) moves from Detroit to Beijing with his widowed mother (Taraji P Henson of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button), only to find himself up against the school bullies in a martial arts tournament. Jackie Chan keeps his usual ebullience under wraps as Mr Han, the quiet janitor who becomes Dre's reluctant trainer. The action sequences, as expected with Chan, are amazing. These, along with a snappy pace, stunning locations and credible performances, counterbalance the film's overlong running time. Thanks to a tight script, even fans of the original franchise will find the ending stirring and surprising. Sticklers will, however, love pointing out that what Mr Han teaches Dre is not karate, but kung fu.

The Million Pound Note- (1953)
18:30 - 20:15 - Mon 1/5/17 - Talking Pictures
6.1/10 Stars

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In this lovely comedy, Gregory Peck plays a bankrupt American abroad, who is given the title bank note and told to keep it intact for a month. As the butt of a joke between two rich gamblers, Peck has problems at first, but then finds his "wealth" means he never has to spend a penny because his credit rating is so good. Set in Edwardian London, the picture has a lot of charm and gentle humour, owing to Peck's evident delight in the role and the unobtrusive direction of Ronald Neame. The witty script, based on the story by Mark Twain, was written by Jill Craigie, the film-maker wife of Michael Foot.

Intolerable Cruelty- (2003)
18:50 - 21:00 - Mon 1/5/17 - Sony Movie Channel
5.7/10 Stars

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This is by far Joel and Ethan Coen's most expensive film and also their first working from an existing script. That it turns out to be their weakest effort so far may not be unconnected. A slick, colourful screwball comedy (like their own Hudsucker Proxy without the period setting), it follows the quest of ultra-successful divorce lawyer Miles Massey (George Clooney) to marry professional gold-digger Marylin Rexroth (Catherine Zeta-Jones) using his own cast-iron "pre-nup". This being a Coen brothers film, it's populated with wonderful, often grotesque supporting characters including Edward Herrmann's philandering millionaire, Billy Bob Thornton's dozy oilman and Jonathan Hadary's eccentric trial witness. But when these turns distract from rather than add to the central plot, you're in dangerous territory. There are moments of inspired, slapstick brilliance (not least those featuring an asthmatic hitman), and Clooney works his socks off, but it lacks a hard centre and plot keeps racing ahead of character. It's neither as unhinged as their Raising Arizona nor as warm as Fargo; let's hope this is an isolated blip on the Coens' graph.

Gunfight At Black Horse Canyon- (1961)
18:55 - 21:00 - Mon 1/5/17 - Movies4Men
0.0/10 Stars

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A convicted outlaw attempts to get even with a Wells Fargo special investigator responsible for putting him in jail. Western action starring Dale Robertson and George Kennedy. (1961)

Evan Almighty- (2007)
18:55 - 19:55 - Mon 1/5/17 - ITV 2
5.2/10 Stars

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Politician Evan Baxter is recruited by God for a special mission. A great flood is coming, and like Noah before him, Evan has to build an ark to protect the wildlife of the world from the impending cataclysm. However, convincing others that the end is nigh proves difficult. Comedy sequel to Bruce Almighty, starring Steve Carell, John Goodman, Lauren Graham and Morgan Freeman.

Evan Almighty- (2007)
20:00 - 21:00 - Mon 1/5/17 - ITV 2
5.2/10 Stars

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Politician Evan Baxter is recruited by God for a special mission. A great flood is coming, and like Noah before him, Evan has to build an ark to protect the wildlife of the world from the impending cataclysm. However, convincing others that the end is nigh proves difficult. Comedy sequel to Bruce Almighty, starring Steve Carell, John Goodman, Lauren Graham and Morgan Freeman.

Not Now Comrade- (0)
20:15 - 22:00 - Mon 1/5/17 - Talking Pictures
0.0/10 Stars

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1976. Comedy. Directors: Ray Cooney & Harold Snoad. Stars Leslie Phillips, Roy Kinnear, Windsor Davies & June Whitfield. A Russian ballet star defects to the West. Chaos befalls those who try to help.

Saving Mr Banks- (2013)
20:30 - 22:30 - Mon 1/5/17 - BBC 1
0.0/10 Stars

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Walt Disney becomes determined to adapt Mary Poppins into a film, but faces an obstacle in the shape of author PL Travers, who resists the idea of a sentimental Hollywood version of her book. As the movie mogul's charm offensive comes unstuck, he begins to realise why the story is so important to its creator. Fact-based drama, with Emma Thompson, Tom Hanks, Paul Giamatti and Colin Farrell.

Lethal Weapon 4- (1998)
21:00 - 22:05 - Mon 1/5/17 - ITV 4
6.2/10 Stars

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The fourth instalment in the action series is a slight improvement on the bloated Lethal Weapon 3, but there's still a "going through the motions" feel to it all. Mel Gibson and Danny Glover continue to bicker away amicably, Joe Pesci remains the butt of most of their jokes, while the pregnant Rene Russo is stuck largely on the sidelines. Stand-up comedian Chris Rock makes his first appearance in the franchise as a wisecracking cop, but the most notable new addition is Jet Li, the Hong Kong action star whose awesome fighting skills leave the rest of the cast looking rather old and ungainly. Otherwise it's business as usual, with director Richard Donner laying on the requisite destruction as Gibson and Glover track down a ruthless Triad gang that specialises in smuggling immigrants.

The Equalizer- (2014)
21:00 - 22:00 - Mon 1/5/17 - 5*
7.2/10 Stars

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A retired secret agent applies his talents to the task of helping victims of injustice. When he witnesses a prostitute being beaten up by a pimp, he kills the man, an act that draws him into a battle to the death with a Russian crime syndicate. Action thriller based on the 1980s TV series, starring Denzel Washington and Chloe Grace Moretz.

A Million Ways to Die in the West- (2014)
21:00 - 23:15 - Mon 1/5/17 - Film 4
5.9/10 Stars

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A timid farmer abandoned by his girlfriend is fascinated by a mysterious woman who rides into his frontier town. He tries to act the part of a gunslinging Wild West hero to impress her, only to find himself facing a showdown with her notorious outlaw husband. Western spoof, directed by and starring Seth MacFarlane, with Charlize Theron and Liam Neeson.

Valdez Is Coming- (1971)
21:00 - 22:50 - Mon 1/5/17 - Movies4Men
5.1/10 Stars

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This western is notable only for a performance of immense dignity from the great Burt Lancaster as a Mexican-American lawman bent on justice. An unlikely debut for Broadway theatre director Edwin Sherin, who fails to get the most out of the material and quite clearly has no cinema technique. Additionally, the film is crucially under-cast, with a far stronger screen presence than Jon Cypher required as Lancaster's adversary. Only Richard Jordan manages to register among the supports. Shot in Spain, this is a film from a period in Lancaster's career when he simply seemed glad to be working.

The Interpreter- (2005)
21:00 - 23:45 - Mon 1/5/17 - Sony Movie Channel
6.2/10 Stars

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This engrossing thriller from director Sydney Pollack stars Nicole Kidman and Sean Penn, and has the distinction of being the first movie to film inside the United Nations headquarters in New York (something even Hitchcock couldn't manage when he made North by Northwest in 1959). Kidman plays translator Silvia Broome, who overhears a threat to murder an African head of state (Earl Cameron) in a dialect that few can understand. Recently bereaved Secret Service agent Tobin Keller (Penn) is then assigned to keep an eye on the imperilled interpreter, who has herself become an assassination target. But what could have been a routine action affair with a hint of romance takes a distinctly sinister turn as Keller begins to suspect there is more to Broome than meets the eye. Pollack's return to directing (it was his first feature for six years) may be a little too worthy for its own good, but the performances of Kidman and Penn turn this handsome, tightly knit and intelligent film into a vehicle for those who want more than mere entertainment from their political thrillers.

Pandorum- (2009)
21:00 - 23:05 - Mon 1/5/17 - Horror Channel
6.3/10 Stars

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An intergalactic mission starts to go horribly wrong in this dull and often incomprehensible sci-fi shocker from director Christian Alvart (Antibodies, Case 39). When astronauts Dennis Quaid and Ben Foster awake disorientated from hyper-sleep, with no memory of their assignment, they find themselves at the mercy of fast-moving mutant monsters that have infiltrated their ship. That's if the eponymous deep-space disease (or Orbital Dysfunctional Syndrome) that manifests itself as a delusional God complex doesn't get to them first. Pitch Black, Alien and producer Paul WS Anderson's own Event Horizon and Resident Evil franchise are obvious reference points in this hopelessly muddled mix. But it's essentially The Descent in outer space with no real menace or horror, just jerky editing supplying mechanical jolts against a dingy industrial backdrop.

Out of The Fog- (0)
22:00 - 23:20 - Mon 1/5/17 - Talking Pictures
6.2/10 Stars

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1962. Crime drama directed by Montgomery Tully. An ex-con is the prime suspect when a series of murders occur under a full moon. Every victim is a blonde young woman. Starring David Sumner

Girl with a Pearl Earring- (2003)
22:00 - 23:30 - Mon 1/5/17 - BBC 4
6.4/10 Stars

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A girl takes up the job of maid in the household of the artist Vermeer - but her presence provokes friction in the family and the jealousy of his wife when the servant catches the painter's eye. Peter Webber's 17th-century period drama adapted from the best-selling novel by Tracy Chevalier, starring Scarlett Johansson, Colin Firth, Tom Wilkinson, Judy Parfitt and Cillian Murphy.

The Equalizer- (2014)
22:05 - 23:40 - Mon 1/5/17 - 5*
7.2/10 Stars

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A retired secret agent applies his talents to the task of helping victims of injustice. When he witnesses a prostitute being beaten up by a pimp, he kills the man, an act that draws him into a battle to the death with a Russian crime syndicate. Action thriller based on the 1980s TV series, starring Denzel Washington and Chloe Grace Moretz.

Lethal Weapon 4- (1998)
22:10 - 23:30 - Mon 1/5/17 - ITV 4
6.2/10 Stars

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The fourth instalment in the action series is a slight improvement on the bloated Lethal Weapon 3, but there's still a "going through the motions" feel to it all. Mel Gibson and Danny Glover continue to bicker away amicably, Joe Pesci remains the butt of most of their jokes, while the pregnant Rene Russo is stuck largely on the sidelines. Stand-up comedian Chris Rock makes his first appearance in the franchise as a wisecracking cop, but the most notable new addition is Jet Li, the Hong Kong action star whose awesome fighting skills leave the rest of the cast looking rather old and ungainly. Otherwise it's business as usual, with director Richard Donner laying on the requisite destruction as Gibson and Glover track down a ruthless Triad gang that specialises in smuggling immigrants.

Colt In The Hand Of The Devil- (1973)
22:50 - 00:40 - Mon 1/5/17 - Movies4Men
0.0/10 Stars

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When a cowboy is released from prison he fulfils a promise to visit a town run by a gang of ruthless gunmen. In doing so he makes a lot of enemies very quickly. Stars Robert Woods. (1973)

Margin Call- (2011)
23:00 - 00:40 - Mon 1/5/17 - BBC 2
6.6/10 Stars

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A bitter executive is dismissed from an investment bank, but plans his revenge by handing secret information on the company's fortunes to a junior analyst. When the information is decoded, it reveals that the company is on the brink of a devastating financial crisis, a revelation that is soon spreading throughout the workforce. Drama, starring Kevin Spacey, Paul Bettany and Jeremy Irons.

The Curse of the Werewolf- (1961)
23:05 - 00:55 - Mon 1/5/17 - Horror Channel
7.0/10 Stars

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An orphan turns into a hairy horror when the moon is full and spreads terror in a Spanish town. Hammer horror, starring Oliver Reed, Clifford Evans, Catherine Feller and Anthony Dawson.

The Grand Budapest Hotel- (2014)
23:15 - 01:20 - Mon 1/5/17 - Film 4
7.9/10 Stars

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An old man tells a journalist the story of his youth as a lobby boy at a hotel in Eastern Europe in the 1930s. He was taken under the wing of the establishment's dashing concierge, and is drawn into his misadventures as he becomes involved in a conflict over a valuable painting. Wes Anderson's comedy drama, starring Ralph Fiennes, Tony Revolori, F Murray Abraham and Jude Law.

The Ghostmaker- (2012)
23:45 - 01:35 - Mon 1/5/17 - Sony Movie Channel
4.8/10 Stars

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Four students discover a mysterious coffin, fitted with a device that allows a living person to temporarily become a ghost while lying inside it. As they spend more and more time in the spirit world, they are tempted to take the opportunity to act on their darkest desires. Horror, starring Aaron Dean Eisenberg and Liz Fenning.

New Towns for Old- (0)
23:50 - 00:00 - Mon 1/5/17 - Talking Pictures
0.0/10 Stars

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1942. Factual. This wartime public information film combines impressive shots of industrial poverty with inspiring words scripted by Dylan Thomas, proffering new housing and better lives after the war