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Comedown- (2012)
00:35 - 02:25 - Horror Channel
5.3/10 Stars

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Six friends are paid to sneak into a derelict tower block and set up a transmitter for a pirate radio station. However, they find the building is not as empty as they thought, and fall prey to a lone psychopath living there who does not take kindly to being disturbed. Horror, starring Adam Deacon and Sophie Stuckey.


Assassins- (1995)
00:55 - 02:30 - ITV 4
5.8/10 Stars

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This film should carry a message warning you not to look too deeply for rhyme or reason or you'll end up with a nasty headache. Just ignore the holes in the plot and concentrate instead on the rivalry that develops between hitmen Sylvester Stallone and Antonio Banderas, especially when Stallone becomes enamoured of their target, hacker supreme Julianne Moore. Director Richard Donner lets Banderas get away with a lazy performance, but Stallone has rarely been so interesting.


Returning Lily- (2003)
01:00 - 03:00 - True Entertainment
6.8/10 Stars

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An unhappily married woman receives news that the woman who raised her has died, and decides to fulfil her last wish by taking her ashes to Hawaii. On her arrival she becomes attracted to the dead woman's nephew, and also realises her mother, whom she has never met, is living on the island. Drama, starring Virginia Madsen, Lainie Kazan and Jason Mamoa.


The Queen's Sister- (2005)
01:00 - 03:00 - Yesterday
6.1/10 Stars

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Biopic charting the troubled life of Princess Margaret, capturing the intimate details of the princess's life and loves over three decades with humour and compassion. [2005]


Jackpot- (2011)
01:05 - 02:25 - BBC 2
4.8/10 Stars

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Police called out to a strip club find a man holding a gun surrounded by eight dead bodies, and arrest him for murder. The prisoner protests his innocence, recounting to a detective the bizarre story of how a pools win led him and his friends to a massacre. Crime comedy, starring Kyrre Hellum and Mads Ousdal. In Norwegian.


Commando Leopard- (1985)
01:10 - 03:15 - Movies4Men
6.5/10 Stars

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A tyrannical dictator dominates a Latin American country, but the notorious guerilla fighter `El Leopardo' organises the people into a resistance movement to fight back. Action adventure, starring Lewis Collins and Klaus Kinski. In Italian.


On the Game- (1974)
01:30 - 03:15 - Talking Pictures
0.0/10 Stars

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1974. Comedy. Cult British filmmaker Stanley Long presents a light-hearted romp about the world's 'oldest profession'. Narrated by Charles Gray (Rocky Horror) also stars Lloyd Lamble and Gloria Maley


Mindscape- (2013)
01:30 - 03:30 - Film 4
6.5/10 Stars

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A psychic with the ability to explore people's memories uses his talents to aid the police, until a case goes disastrously wrong. Desperate for work, he agrees to help a wealthy couple discover why their teenage daughter is on a hunger strike, but beings to fear she is manipulating her memories to deceive him. Fantasy thriller, starring Mark Strong, Taissa Farmiga and Brian Cox.


Grave Halloween- (2013)
02:25 - 04:15 - Horror Channel
3.9/10 Stars

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A teenager ventures into the forest where her mother killed herself. Aided by her friends, she hopes to perform a ritual that will lay the dead woman's soul to rest, but other spirits inhabit the woods, and do not take kindly to the living intruding in their domain. Horror, starring Kaitlyn Leeb and Cassi Thomson.


Wrong Turn- (2003)
03:10 - 04:35 - Channel 5
5.8/10 Stars

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Director Rob Schmidt pays tribute to 1970s exploitation cinema with this simplistic but extremely satisfying horror feature. Offering everything a high-quality shocker should, it's gruesome, gratuitous, totally terrifying and, above all, rollicking good fun. A blend of Deliverance, The Hills Have Eyes and The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, it has mutant American hillbillies turning the woods of West Virginia into their personal (human) hunting ground. But the grisly extent of their "sport" only becomes clear when five campers and a stranded doctor (Ghost Ship's Desmond Harrington) fall prey to their cannibalistic urges. While Harrington and Eliza Dushku (Faith in TV's Buffy) deliver ballsy and believable heroics, it's producer Stan Winston's special effects that steal the show - horribly realistic, they send serious shivers down the spine. Add Schmidt's skilful use of shadow and sound to the equation and you've got a pretension-free chiller that - while derivative - really packs a punch.

Perfect Woman- (1949)
03:15 - 05:00 - Talking Pictures
0.0/10 Stars

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1978. Two dumb aliens are sent to earth to find an earthwoman suitable to be the wife of their leader. Stars Cameron Mitchell.

Crooked Sky- (1957)
06:00 - 07:30 - Talking Pictures
0.0/10 Stars

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1957. Crime drama directed by Henry Cass. An American detective & Scotland Yard must work together to crack a counterfeit gang. Stars Wayne Morris, Karin Booth and Anton Diffring.

They Won't Believe Me- (1947)
06:00 - 07:50 - Movies4Men
5.2/10 Stars

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A man on trial for the murder of his lover takes the witness stand to plead his innocence. He reveals how he was trapped in a loveless marriage because he needed his wife's money to support him. When his latest mistress died in a car accident, he saw an opportunity to escape, but the plan quickly spiraled out of control. Drama, starring Susan Hayward and Robert Young.

The Christmas Gift- (1986)
06:00 - 08:00 - True Entertainment
4.4/10 Stars

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Scrooge turns folk singer in this mild-mannered reworking of the Dickens festive favourite. Everything is humbug to widowed architect John Denver until he's sent to a small town in the Rockies to clear the way for a major new development. Gradually, the mountain air begins to soften his cynical city soul, although it takes his daughter's rescue from the snow finally to persuade him to stand by his new pals. Never a great actor, Denver is too amiable to affect a convincing transformation from embittered careerist to tuneful nice guy. However, it's the cloying sentimentality that really makes this such a turn off.

Gaolbreak- (0)
07:30 - 08:45 - Talking Pictures
6.5/10 Stars

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1962. Directed by Francis Searle and starring Peter Reynolds, Avice Landon and David Kernan. A mother and her two sons run a newsagents as a front for their criminal activity.

The Giants of Thessaly- (1960)
07:50 - 09:30 - Movies4Men
6.0/10 Stars

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Ancient Greek king Jason realises that the only way to save his homeland from natural disasters and invasion is to recover the legendary golden fleece, so sets off on a voyage in search of the fabled relic. While he is gone, the friend he left in charge plots to betray him and seize the throne. Mythological adventure, starring Roland Carey and Ziva Rodann. Includes Flight Bites at 12.30pm.

Silent Predators- (1999)
08:00 - 09:50 - Horror Channel
3.0/10 Stars

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Mankind comes under threat from mutated snakes threatening to run amok across the globe. Horror, starring Harry Hamlin, Shannon Sturges, Jack Scalia and Patricia McCormack.

Ghost Ship- (2002)
08:45 - 10:20 - Talking Pictures
5.2/10 Stars

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The crew and passengers of a luxury cruiser are systematically slaughtered, leaving the ship unmanned and adrift in Arctic waters. Years later, the crew of a salvage tugboat boards the liner - only to be dispatched by the ghosts of the victims in gruesome fashion. Horror, starring Gabriel Byrne, Julianna Margulies, Ron Eldard, Isaiah Washington, Alex Dimitriades and Karl Urban.

The Sword of El Cid- (1962)
09:30 - 11:15 - Movies4Men
0.0/10 Stars

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The ruler of Catalonia is murdered by his identical twin brother, who then usurps the throne. However, he has forgotten about his dead brother's son, who raises an army to reclaim his birthright. Italian historical drama, with Roland Carey, Sandro Moretti and Chantal Deberg. In Italian.

Go For Broke- (2001)
10:20 - 12:10 - Talking Pictures
0.0/10 Stars

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1951. War drama starring Van Johnson, George Miki and Lane Nakano. The story of Japanese-American soldiers who fought in Europe during World War II.

Santa Fe- (1951)
11:00 - 12:50 - Film 4
6.0/10 Stars

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A former Confederate soldier takes a job building the Santa Fe railroad after the end of the Civil War and tries to persuade his three brothers to join him, fearing they will otherwise fall into a life of crime owing to their enduring hatred of the North. Western, starring Randolph Scott, Jerome Courtland, Janis Carter and Peter Thompson.

DragonHeart- (1996)
11:00 - 13:00 - ITV
6.1/10 Stars

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Over the years, Sean Connery has played a Turkish warrior, an Irish cop, a Russian submarine commander and 007 - all with the same Scottish accent. Here he lends his distinctive burr to Draco, a tenth-century dragon who joins forces with an itinerant knight (Dennis Quaid). The result is a likeable, if slightly over-eager, mix of derring-do and special effects, which has everything from wicked kings and poetic monks to romantic encounters and revolting peasants. Quaid gives a rousing performance, while Pete Postlethwaite is charmingly awkward as a religious wayfarer with a penchant for rhyming couplets. As the dastardly despot, however, David Thewlis belongs in a pantomime.

Junior- (1994)
11:05 - 13:05 - ITV
4.7/10 Stars

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A fertility expert pioneers a treatment enabling men to become pregnant and carry babies to full term. When the authorities cancel funding for the research, he decides to test it on himself, but gives little thought to how difficult it will be to keep it a secret. The situation is further complicated when he starts to fall for the woman whose child he is carrying. Comedy, with Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito, Emma Thompson and Frank Langella.

Surrender - Hell!- (1959)
11:15 - 13:00 - Movies4Men
6.4/10 Stars

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An American colonel stationed in the Philippines manages to evade capture by Japanese soldiers, but is forced into the heart of the jungle. He recruits a group of natives and sets about training them in preparation for launching a fresh assault on the enemy. Second World War adventure, starring Keith Andes and Susan Cabot.

Hostel: Part III- (2011)
11:20 - 13:05 - Horror Channel
4.9/10 Stars

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Four men on a stag party in Las Vegas are lured by two seductive women into attending what they think is a private party. When they arrive, they are kidnapped by members of a sadistic secret club, who need victims to torture as part of their horrific games. Horror sequel, starring Thomas Kretschmann, Zulay Henao and Kip Pardue.

Sacrifices of the Heart- (2007)
11:25 - 13:25 - True Entertainment
7.0/10 Stars

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This well-meaning story about a macho farmer succumbing to Alzheimer's disease was written by Patti Davis, whose own father, Ronald Reagan, died of the disease in 2004. The insights into the diagnosis and development of the condition are perceptive enough and Ken Howard conveys the growing confusion and helplessness with admirable restraint. But, otherwise, the narrative is strewn with melodramatic incidents, as city lawyer Melissa Gilbert leaves her job defending troubled delinquents to help her loyal brother Cyril O'Reilly nurse the father she's never forgiven for a childhood trauma.

Universal Soldier: Regeneration- (2009)
11:30 - 12:45 - ITV 4
5.3/10 Stars

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Jean-Claude Van Damme returns to one of his best-known roles in this ambitious reboot of the sci-fi action franchise. Ageing yet agile, he demonstrates he's still got the moves, as his reanimated warrior Luc Deveraux is forcibly re-commissioned to help stop stereotypical terrorists from blowing up the crippled Chernobyl nuclear plant. The film opens impressively with an adrenaline-rush car chase, before settling into routine shoot 'em up mode, accompanied by gritty visuals and a pounding soundtrack. It's technically accomplished but narratively flimsy, making the increasingly illogical events feel like padding in preparation for the final act's main attraction: a slugfest between Van Damme and his original Universal Soldier nemesis, Dolph Lundgren.

Black Hawk Down- (2001)
11:35 - 14:35 - Film 4
7.1/10 Stars

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Following on swiftly from the release of Behind Enemy Lines, here's another noisy, gung-ho modern war movie. However, the fact that this film is based on the disastrous 1993 "Battle of Mogadishu" in Somalia does not temper its flag-waving, pro-American militarism. The film's poster tagline "Leave no man behind" disguises what was a strategic American mess as chest-beating melodrama - in reality, 18 Americans were killed, as were hundreds of Somalis during a 15-hour firefight. That it should come from a British director is the surprise, though to his credit Ridley Scott has cast many non-Americans in prominent roles - an underused Ewan McGregor, an impressive Jason Isaacs, comic turn Ewen Bremner and charismatic Eric Bana. It's sensitive, cool-headed and intelligent for a Jerry Bruckheimer movie, but for all of Scott's incredible technical skill - you really do feel as if you are there - the battle scenes lack identifiable characters and there is scant insight into the Somalian conflict. In a post-11-September world, its call for "heroes" makes it little more than a recruitment film.

Blackjack- (1998)
12:05 - 13:55 - Movies4Men
4.0/10 Stars

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Other than the presence of action-movie stalwart Dolph Lundgren and a few flashes of his trademark slow-mo gunplay, this is a depressingly ordinary action movie from Face/Off director John Woo. The mishmash of a plot finds ex-bodyguard Lundgren coming out of retirement to protect a supermodel from a deranged failed actor, while overcoming a bizarre phobia of the colour white (tricky really, particularly when he gets caught up in a fight in a milk factory). Made as a pilot for a television series that never materialised and released direct to video, this is really only for die-hard Woo fans.

The Traitors- (0)
12:10 - 13:35 - Talking Pictures
9.5/10 Stars

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1962. Thriller. Directed by Robert Tronson. Starring Patrick Allen, Jacqueline Ellis & James Maxwell. Espionage story telling how British and U.S. security agents outwit ruthless and cunning traitors.

Short Circuit 2- (1988)
13:00 - 15:15 - Film 4
5.3/10 Stars

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This sequel about the former military robot Number Five, now Johnny Five, has several moments of humour (becoming involved with a bank robbery, for example), but too many minutes of tedium as it wonders whether to be social satire or pratfall parody. Fisher Stevens returns as the Indian co-inventor of the robot, and again his clichéd character is infuriating, representing the kind of prejudice Johnny Five is supposed to be against.

Quantrill's Raiders- (1958)
13:00 - 14:10 - BBC 2
4.1/10 Stars

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A Confederate captain is sent on an undercover mission to arrange the destruction of a supply of weapons. However, his task is complicated when he falls in love with a Unionist woman, while the treacherous guerrilla leader assigned with seizing the arms is more interested in starting a massacre. Civil War Western, starring Steve Cochran and Leo Gordon.

Murphy's War- (1971)
13:00 - 15:10 - Movies4Men
4.4/10 Stars

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This trifle has hints of The African Queen, with Peter O'Toole as a manic Irish seaman who teams up with a Quaker missionary (O'Toole's then wife, Sian Phillips) and a French oil engineer (convincingly played by Philippe Noiret) to sink a German U-boat on the Orinoco delta. Shot in the jungles of Venezuela, the film's blend of whimsy and battle is skilfully handled by director Peter Yates, who was riding high at the time on the success of Bullitt.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid- (2010)
13:00 - 15:00 - E4
5.8/10 Stars

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Based on the bestselling "novel in cartoons" by Jeff Kinney, this weak comedy focuses on misfit pre-teen Greg (Zachary Gordon) as he negotiates his first year at middle school - a world of cliques, bullying and embarrassment. Hatching various plots to boost his popularity with the older kids, Greg finds his efforts are constantly hampered by his cruel big brother Rodrick (Devon Bostick) and his nerdy best friend Rowley (Robert Capron). Director Thor Freudenthal punctuates the live action with animations based on Kinney's own work, but whereas Greg's adventures in book form are full of subtlety and wry observation, the movie is swamped by the sledgehammer clichés (gym class humiliation, Halloween high jinks) found in any run-of-the-mill children's TV comedy. None of the young actors has much in the way of screen presence, and it's left to Steve Zahn as Greg's hapless dad to grab the few real laughs on offer.

Columbo: the Bye-Bye Sky-High I- (1977)
13:10 - 14:45 - Five USA
0.0/10 Stars

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Q. Detective drama starring Peter Falk and Theodore Bikel. The scruffy detective plays mental games with an accountant who believes he has carried out the perfect murder. (1977)

Grumpy Cat's Worst Christmas Ever- (2014)
13:55 - 15:35 - Channel 5
5.6/10 Stars

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Festive comedy starring Aubrey Plaza and Megan Charpentier. A lonely cat living in a pet shop learns the true meaning of Christmas with the help of a 12-year-old girl. (2014)

The Naked Truth- (0)
14:00 - 16:00 - Talking Pictures
0.0/10 Stars

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1957. Comedy. Director: Mario Zampi. Stars Terry-Thomas, Peter Sellers, Peggy Mount & Dennis Price. Nigel Dennis, a magazine publisher, blackmails high-profile politicians & Celebrities.

Dial M for Murder- (1954)
14:10 - 15:50 - BBC 2
7.3/10 Stars

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Alfred Hitchcock only took on this version of Frederick Knott's play to fulfil his Warners contract. Such was his lack of interest in the project that he claimed he could have phoned in his direction and that the action wouldn't have been any less interesting if he had staged it in a phone box. It's true to say that many of the set pieces literally fall flat, because they were originally composed for presentation in 3-D, but as Ray Milland plots to bump off wife Grace Kelly there are plenty of deft touches that loudly proclaim "genius at work". Milland's sinister sophistication catches the eye, but Kelly's subtly shaded suffering is superb.

Columbo: Murder Under Glass- (1978)
14:45 - 16:20 - Five USA
0.0/10 Stars

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Detective story starring Peter Falk and Louis Jourdan. A crooked cook provides Columbo with an alarming menu of corruption, blackmail and poison. (1978)[AD,S]

Kung Fu Panda- (2008)
14:55 - 16:20 - BBC 1
6.8/10 Stars

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Clumsy, chubby noodle-seller Po the panda (voiced by Jack Black) becomes a martial arts master in this visually arresting CGI-animated adventure from DreamWorks. Po lives in the Valley of Peace, where harmony is threatened by the evil snow leopard Tai Lung (Ian McShane). Despite the presence of five highly skilled fighters, Po is revealed to be the new Dragon Warrior, who is prophesised to defeat Tai Lung. Taking a typical fists-of-fury plot from the Bruce Lee era, and using Hong Kong action clichés of slow-motion and freeze-frame to good effect, the film-makers were right to put most of their energies into the fight scenes, which are swiftly paced and great fun to watch. The main drawback is an overly familiar "believe in yourself" message. But the film's less geared around pop culture references and abrasive humour than DreamWorks's Shrek movies, and with Black's boundless enthusiasm giving Po a lovably goofball spark, this beautifully designed, cherry blossom-hued cartoon is brighter, breezier and bouncier than most.

MegaFault- (2009)
15:00 - 16:50 - Horror Channel
4.4/10 Stars

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A series of devastating earthquakes are evidence of a massive crack opening up in the surface of the Earth. A seismologist teams up with an explosives expert to prevent the world being completely destroyed by the quakes. Disaster movie, starring Brittany Murphy, Eriq La Salle and Bruce Davison.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop- (2009)
15:10 - 16:15 - 5*
5.4/10 Stars

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A single father is determined to become a police officer but fails the medical because he is overweight. To compensate, he goes to absurd lengths to succeed in his job as a security guard, but when criminals lay siege to his place of work, he finds his opportunity to prove his worth to law enforcement. Comedy, starring Kevin James and Keir O'Donnell.

Marine Raiders- (1944)
15:10 - 17:00 - Movies4Men
5.2/10 Stars

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American recruits are put through a tough Marine training course in preparation for combat action, but a brief stopover in Australia leads to a whirlwind romance - and tragedy. World War Two adventure, starring Robert Ryan, Pat O'Brien, Ruth Hussey and Frank McHugh.

Carry On Teacher- (1959)
15:15 - 17:00 - Film 4
6.5/10 Stars

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The third in the Carry On series is a gentle comedy about the concerted efforts of both the pupils and staff of Maudlin Street School to dissuade headmaster Ted Ray from accepting a post elsewhere. The pranks are Bash Street Kids' calibre and raise few laughs, but the staff-room infighting is good value, with drama teacher Kenneth Williams and educational psychologist Leslie Phillips squabbling with maths teacher Hattie Jacques over corporal punishment, and gym mistress Joan Sims feuding with school assessor Rosalind Knight over weedy Kenneth Connor. Ray comes across as something of a prig and a cloying sentimentality dogs the whole affair, but it's still fun.

Les Miserables- (1998)
15:30 - 16:35 - ITV 3
6.7/10 Stars

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Lavish adaptation of Victor Hugo's classic novel. A reformed criminal attempts to lead a respectable life devoted to the care of his daughter - but it's only a matter of time before his lawless past catches up with him. Drama, starring Liam Neeson, Geoffrey Rush, Uma Thurman and Claire Danes.

Superman- (1978)
15:30 - 16:45 - ITV 4
6.7/10 Stars

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This big-budget, epic-scale version of the Man of Steel legend is irresistible, fabulous entertainment. The elegiac opening - from the destruction of Krypton via Clark Kent's early years in Smallville to his arrival at the Daily Planet in Metropolis - turns more traditional comic book when Clark falls for Lois Lane, before a bright and breezy confrontation with comedic criminal Lex Luthor. The deliberate clash of styles generates much excitement and, yes, you'll believe a man can fly. Christopher Reeve is perfectly cast (though Smallville fans may disagree) and as a spectacle it's a highly satisfying confection that has set the standard other comic-book adaptations must try to match.

The Polar Express- (2004)
15:30 - 16:30 - ITV 2
6.3/10 Stars

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In this animated tale based on Chris Van Allsburg's children's book, a sceptical boy finds his belief in Father Christmas restored by an incredible journey to the North Pole on board a magical train. Forrest Gump director Robert Zemeckis's fantasy adventure is undoubtedly technically impressive, thanks to the introduction of "Performance Capture" - a new type of CGI that transfers the live actions of actors into a digital format. The process enables star Tom Hanks to take on six different roles, from the young hero to Santa Claus himself. However, as a fast-moving life lesson about faith and hope, the film weaves sentimentality and gentle moralising into every scene. But, though the emotion feels contrived, that's nothing compared to the flashy set pieces and meticulous detail, which do more to flaunt the technology than move along the story.

A Prince For Christmas- (2015)
15:35 - 17:20 - Channel 5
0.0/10 Stars

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Trying to escape his upcoming arranged marriage, a European prince travels to America incognito over Christmas, where he meets a charming waitress. (2015)

Quest For Love- (0)
16:00 - 18:00 - Talking Pictures
0.0/10 Stars

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1971 Drama. Director: Ralph Thomas. Starring: Joan Collins, Tom Bell and Denholm Elliott. A scientist wakes in an alternative reality that bears some similarities to our own, but also some differences

Jingle All the Way- (1996)
16:00 - 17:45 - Channel 4
5.5/10 Stars

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In this family comedy, Arnold Schwarzenegger plays the overworked businessman who promises to buy the year's hottest toy - Turbo Man - for his neglected son. Alas, the doll sold out months previously, thus sparking a frantic search that sees Arnie crossing swords with an obsessed postman (Sinbad) and a crooked Santa (James Belushi). Schwarzenegger acquits himself reasonably well in the slapstick action sequences - for once he is not indestructible - but he's a tad embarrassing during the cuddlier moments. Brian Levant's direction, meanwhile, could do with a harder edge.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop- (2009)
16:20 - 17:00 - 5*
5.4/10 Stars

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A single father is determined to become a police officer but fails the medical because he is overweight. To compensate, he goes to absurd lengths to succeed in his job as a security guard, but when criminals lay siege to his place of work, he finds his opportunity to prove his worth to law enforcement. Comedy, starring Kevin James and Keir O'Donnell.

Columbo: Fade Into Murder- (1976)
16:20 - 18:00 - Five USA
0.0/10 Stars

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Murder mystery drama starring Peter Falk and William Shatner. The dishevelled lieutenant must investigate when the producer of a TV detective show is murdered. (1976)

The Polar Express- (2004)
16:35 - 17:25 - ITV 2
6.3/10 Stars

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In this animated tale based on Chris Van Allsburg's children's book, a sceptical boy finds his belief in Father Christmas restored by an incredible journey to the North Pole on board a magical train. Forrest Gump director Robert Zemeckis's fantasy adventure is undoubtedly technically impressive, thanks to the introduction of "Performance Capture" - a new type of CGI that transfers the live actions of actors into a digital format. The process enables star Tom Hanks to take on six different roles, from the young hero to Santa Claus himself. However, as a fast-moving life lesson about faith and hope, the film weaves sentimentality and gentle moralising into every scene. But, though the emotion feels contrived, that's nothing compared to the flashy set pieces and meticulous detail, which do more to flaunt the technology than move along the story.

Les Miserables- (1998)
16:40 - 17:55 - ITV 3
6.7/10 Stars

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Lavish adaptation of Victor Hugo's classic novel. A reformed criminal attempts to lead a respectable life devoted to the care of his daughter - but it's only a matter of time before his lawless past catches up with him. Drama, starring Liam Neeson, Geoffrey Rush, Uma Thurman and Claire Danes.

Superman- (1978)
16:50 - 18:25 - ITV 4
6.7/10 Stars

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This big-budget, epic-scale version of the Man of Steel legend is irresistible, fabulous entertainment. The elegiac opening - from the destruction of Krypton via Clark Kent's early years in Smallville to his arrival at the Daily Planet in Metropolis - turns more traditional comic book when Clark falls for Lois Lane, before a bright and breezy confrontation with comedic criminal Lex Luthor. The deliberate clash of styles generates much excitement and, yes, you'll believe a man can fly. Christopher Reeve is perfectly cast (though Smallville fans may disagree) and as a spectacle it's a highly satisfying confection that has set the standard other comic-book adaptations must try to match.

Collision Earth- (2011)
16:50 - 18:40 - Horror Channel
6.0/10 Stars

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The planet Mercury is struck by a solar flare that sends it on a collision course with Earth. A disgraced scientist must reactivate his defunct plans for a new weapons system to save the world, while an astronaut whose spaceship was orbiting Mercury faces a struggle to survive. Sci-fi thriller, starring Kirk Acevedo.

Christmas Makes You Laugh Out Loud- (0)
17:00 - 18:00 - 5*
0.0/10 Stars

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Clip compilation show. Funny-man Iain Lee narrates an entertaining compilation of the most amusing and outrageous Christmas themed videos that have taken the internet by storm.

Field of Dreams- (1989)
17:00 - 19:05 - Film 4
6.8/10 Stars

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This fantasy drama from director Phil Alden Robinson is a delightful blend of the blind-fate story and the more fanciful feel-good corn of Frank Capra. Kevin Costner, as an Iowan farmer, is the epitome of dignified determination as he accedes to a ghostly voice and turns the field on which his family depends for its livelihood into a baseball pitch. The underestimated Amy Madigan gives a good account of herself as his trusting wife, while Ray Liotta, Burt Lancaster and Frank Whaley represent the spirit world with distinction.

36 Hours of Hell- (1969)
17:00 - 18:55 - Movies4Men
0.0/10 Stars

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American marines are sent to a Japanese-occupied Pacific island that has been subjected to a bombing campaign, only to encounter heavy resistance from the surviving enemy forces. Second World War adventure, starring Richard Harrison and Pamela Tudor. In Italian.

Cinderella Christmas- (2016)
17:20 - 18:20 - Channel 5
0.0/10 Stars

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Festive romance starring Emma Rigby and Elia Cantu. A woman attends a ball where she catches the eye of a bachelor but has to leave before revealing her identity. (2016)

Paddington- (2014)
18:15 - 20:00 - Channel 4
7.1/10 Stars

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(2014) Part-animated family fun. Hugh Bonneville, Sally Hawkins and Nicole Kidman star in this adaptation of Michael Bond's tales of the adventures of a small bear (voiced by Ben Whishaw).

The Great Outdoors- (1988)
18:25 - 19:25 - ITV 4
6.2/10 Stars

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John Hughes's attempt to cash in on the success of the previous year's adult comedy Planes, Trains and Automobiles backfires in this routine outing. John Candy, the obnoxious one in the aforementioned Planes, gets to be the nice guy this time around, finding himself stuck on vacation with his appalling brother-in-law, Dan Aykroyd. The two stars do their best, but Hughes's script is a mechanical retread of past glories and director Howard Deutch fails to bring much inspiration to the lumbering slapstick. Look out for a pre-stardom Annette Bening in a supporting role.

Cinderella Christmas- (2016)
18:25 - 19:10 - Channel 5
0.0/10 Stars

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Festive romance starring Emma Rigby and Elia Cantu. A woman attends a ball where she catches the eye of a bachelor but has to leave before revealing her identity. (2016)

Meteorites!- (1998)
18:40 - 20:30 - Horror Channel
1.0/10 Stars

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Tom Wopat (The Dukes of Hazzard) and Roxanne Hart (Chicago Hope) struggle under the debris of this derivative disaster TV movie. When a meteorite shower wreaks havoc, the people of an Arizona desert town must band together to survive. Sadly, this lame movie has a vast, empty crater where the drama should be.

The Bunker- (1981)
18:55 - 22:00 - Movies4Men
5.4/10 Stars

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In the last weeks of the Second World War, Adolf Hitler's empire crumbles around him, so he and his inner circle seek refuge in a Berlin bunker from the approaching allied forces. Drama, starring Anthony Hopkins, Richard Jordan and Cliff Gorman.

Morning Departure- (1950)
19:00 - 21:10 - Talking Pictures
3.8/10 Stars

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An atmospheric "confined space" drama, with John Mills in one of his best roles as the commander of a submarine that's holed by a mine and plunges to the sea bed. Twelve crew members survive the initial impact but - and here's the hook - only eight will be able to use the escape equipment. Everyone is admirably stoic, apart from Richard Attenborough, playing a weak-willed stoker with his trademark intensity. The passage of time has made some of the crew resemble caricatures, yet it's still engrossing stuff.

Unstoppable- (2010)
19:05 - 21:00 - Film 4
6.2/10 Stars

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This edge-of-your-seat action yarn finds veteran railwayman Denzel Washington and rookie conductor Chris Pine racing against the clock to stop an unmanned runaway train loaded with toxic chemicals derailing near a densely populated town. As their own engine attempts to catch up with what office-bound controller Rosario Dawson describes as "a missile the size of the Chrysler building", the men are forced to put aside their differences (one is being forced into retirement, the other is to all intents and purposes replacing him) and work as a team. Known for the over-the-top bluster of his action fests, director Tony Scott shows considerable restraint (although not with his budget - this cost an estimated $100 million), focusing as much on the lives of his characters as their white-knuckle predicament. The high-octane train sequences are staged with increasingly nail-biting tension, admirably shot without reverting to computer-generated trickery. But the never-ending faux news footage does get a bit tiresome.

Jackie Chan's Forbidden Kingdom- (2008)
19:10 - 21:00 - Channel 5
0.0/10 Stars

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Action adventure. Legends Jet Li and Jackie Chan meet in battle for the first time in this fantasy in which a kung-fu obsessed American teenager goes on a magical journey to ancient China. (2008)[S]

The Great Outdoors- (1988)
19:30 - 20:10 - ITV 4
6.2/10 Stars

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John Hughes's attempt to cash in on the success of the previous year's adult comedy Planes, Trains and Automobiles backfires in this routine outing. John Candy, the obnoxious one in the aforementioned Planes, gets to be the nice guy this time around, finding himself stuck on vacation with his appalling brother-in-law, Dan Aykroyd. The two stars do their best, but Hughes's script is a mechanical retread of past glories and director Howard Deutch fails to bring much inspiration to the lumbering slapstick. Look out for a pre-stardom Annette Bening in a supporting role.

The Lone Ranger- (2013)
20:00 - 22:20 - BBC 2
5.9/10 Stars

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A lawyer is left for dead after an ambush in which his Texas ranger brother is killed, but is saved by a mysterious Native American fugitive. Concealing his identity behind a mask, he and his new ally hunt down the outlaws behind the attack - only to find their actions are just part of a larger evil scheme. Western, starring Armie Hammer, Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter.

The Mask- (1994)
20:00 - 21:00 - ITV 2
6.5/10 Stars

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Jim Carrey consolidated his "Ace Ventura" position as America's most successful comedian with this stunning tribute to the zany style of Tex Avery and other Warner Bros animators from the golden age of cartoons. Amazing computer-generated special effects drive this slick showcase for Carrey's explosively unpredictable talents, as he plays a mild-mannered banker who turns into a wild and crazy superhero when he finds a magical ancient mask. Highlights include the Bugs Bunny-style Cuban Pete routine, Carrey's pet dog donning the mask and gorgeous Cameron Diaz as the star's love interest. But mainly it's an excuse for Carrey to move with whirlwind speed, pop his eyeballs and swap parts of his anatomy for the cartoon equivalents in hysterically funny and tremendously imaginative ways.

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure- (1988)
20:10 - 21:10 - ITV 4
6.5/10 Stars

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A nonstop giggle from start to finish, this beguiling grab-bag of time-travel clichés, hard-rock music and Valley-speaking cool dudes is a flawless, purpose-built junk movie. Director Stephen Herek's scattershot style perfectly complements the wayward cosmic capers, while Keanu Reeves (in his pre-sex symbol days) bravely takes on comedian Alex Winter for the "Most Witlessly Appealing Airhead" crown. Reeves resembles a moronic puppet with loose strings ambling amiably through this happy-go-lucky voyage into the short circuits of history. Engaging to the max, Winter and Reeves were tempted back two years later for the equally entertaining and stupid Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey, with Peter Hewitt in the director's chair.

Men in Black 3- (2012)
21:00 - 23:10 - Film 4
6.1/10 Stars

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An alien criminal escapes from a prison on the moon and goes back in time on a mission of revenge, changing the course of history. Agent J of the top-secret Earth defence organisation follows him back to 1969, and joins forces with a younger version of his mentor Agent K to set things right. Sci-fi comedy sequel, starring Will Smith, Josh Brolin and Tommy Lee Jones.

The Messengers- (2007)
21:00 - 22:50 - Horror Channel
5.6/10 Stars

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Ghost stories don't get much more formulaic than this disappointing Hollywood debut from Hong Kong film-makers Danny and Oxide Pang. Far removed from their innovative 2002 chiller The Eye, it's an uninspired tale that seems stitched together from other horror movies. There are references to everything from The Birds to The Grudge, as suburban couple Dylan McDermott and Penelope Ann Miller uproot their two children and move to a secluded North Dakota farm. But the family's new beginning is threatened when their troubled teenage daughter (Panic Room's Kristen Stewart) and her three-year-old brother start seeing ominous apparitions that are invisible to everyone else. The picture opens promisingly with a genuinely scary black-and-white pre-credit sequence that stylishly demonstrates the Pang brothers' talents. Yet while the creepy atmospherics and quick-hit jolts continue throughout, they seem like cheap and empty trickery the more the déjá vu narrative unfolds.

Trip To Bountiful- (2014)
21:00 - 23:00 - True Entertainment
0.0/10 Stars

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Carrie now lives with her overprotective son. When she decides to take a trip back to her hometown Bountiful, her son refuses, but she has other plans, setting out on a trip of lifetime. (2014)

The Expendables 3- (2014)
21:00 - 22:00 - Channel 5
6.2/10 Stars

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Star-studded action sequel starring Sylvester Stallone and Jason Statham. One of the original Expendables re-surfaces as an arms dealer. (2014)

Ted- (2012)
21:00 - 23:00 - E4
6.4/10 Stars

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A lonely boy makes a wish at Christmas that his teddy bear will come to life, which is magically granted. The boy grows up to become a directionless slacker, with the foul-mouthed living toy still his inseparable friend - but his girlfriend thinks it is time for him to grow up. Comedy, starring Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis, directed by and featuring the voice of Seth MacFarlane.

The Mask- (1994)
21:05 - 22:05 - ITV 2
6.5/10 Stars

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Jim Carrey consolidated his "Ace Ventura" position as America's most successful comedian with this stunning tribute to the zany style of Tex Avery and other Warner Bros animators from the golden age of cartoons. Amazing computer-generated special effects drive this slick showcase for Carrey's explosively unpredictable talents, as he plays a mild-mannered banker who turns into a wild and crazy superhero when he finds a magical ancient mask. Highlights include the Bugs Bunny-style Cuban Pete routine, Carrey's pet dog donning the mask and gorgeous Cameron Diaz as the star's love interest. But mainly it's an excuse for Carrey to move with whirlwind speed, pop his eyeballs and swap parts of his anatomy for the cartoon equivalents in hysterically funny and tremendously imaginative ways.

The Beauty Jungle- (0)
21:10 - 23:30 - Talking Pictures
0.0/10 Stars

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1964. Comedy. Director: Val Guest. Stars Jeanette Scott, Ian Hendry, Edmund Purdom & Sid James. Shirley leaves her fiance and moves to London for success after participating in a beauty contest.

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure- (1988)
21:15 - 22:00 - ITV 4
6.5/10 Stars

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A nonstop giggle from start to finish, this beguiling grab-bag of time-travel clichés, hard-rock music and Valley-speaking cool dudes is a flawless, purpose-built junk movie. Director Stephen Herek's scattershot style perfectly complements the wayward cosmic capers, while Keanu Reeves (in his pre-sex symbol days) bravely takes on comedian Alex Winter for the "Most Witlessly Appealing Airhead" crown. Reeves resembles a moronic puppet with loose strings ambling amiably through this happy-go-lucky voyage into the short circuits of history. Engaging to the max, Winter and Reeves were tempted back two years later for the equally entertaining and stupid Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey, with Peter Hewitt in the director's chair.

Death Wish 5: The Face of Death- (0)
22:00 - 23:00 - ITV 4
5.2/10 Stars

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Violent thriller starring Charles Bronson and Robert Joy, 1994. The hardened vigilante springs into action when his girlfriend's business is threatened by mobsters [AD,S]

The Detonator- (2006)
22:00 - 23:50 - Movies4Men
4.4/10 Stars

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The CIA assigns an undercover agent on a perilous mission to escort a Russian informant from Poland to New York. The danger lies in a sinister cartel of Romanian gun-runners, which is targeting the woman and scheming to acquire a nuclear bomb. Thriller, starring Wesley Snipes, Silvia Colloca, Tim Dutton and William Hope.

The Expendables 3- (2014)
22:05 - 23:25 - Channel 5
6.2/10 Stars

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Star-studded action sequel starring Sylvester Stallone and Jason Statham. One of the original Expendables re-surfaces as an arms dealer. (2014)

Wishmaster- (1997)
22:50 - 00:40 - Horror Channel
5.5/10 Stars

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The saying "Be careful what you wish for, it may come true" provides the basis for this oddly comforting throwback to the early 1980s slasher glory days, directed by former special-effects genius Robert Kurtzman and executive-produced by Wes Craven. It follows the struggle of Los Angeles gem specialist Tammy Lauren to stop the evil 12th-century Persian Djinn (genie) wreaking havoc after he tries to trick her into making three wishes when she discovers him trapped in an enchanted opal. Andrew Divoff is good value as the genie, but the one-jolt premise gets stretched out to vanishing point. The casting of Robert Englund (best known as Freddie Krueger), Tony Todd (Candyman) and Kane Hodder (Jason Vorhees) will be a nostalgic tonic for splatter addicts.

Filth- (2013)
23:00 - 00:50 - Channel 4
6.6/10 Stars

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A corrupt policeman with a cocaine habit plans to advance his own career by turning colleagues against each other, while also desperately hoping to persuade his ex-wife to take him back. He rapidly loses his grip on reality as the drug use spirals out of control and his web of lies grows increasingly complex. Black comedy, starring James McAvoy, Imogen Poots, Jamie Bell and Jim Broadbent.

Monte Walsh- (2003)
23:00 - 01:00 - True Entertainment
4.7/10 Stars

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A once-legendary cowboy refuses to move with the times and hang up his spurs like his friends, despite the advice of his loyal sweetheart. Made-for-TV remake of the 1970 Western, starring Tom Selleck, Keith Carradine and Isabella Rossellini.

Elizabeth: the Golden Age- (2007)
23:05 - 00:05 - ITV 3
6.4/10 Stars

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Queen Elizabeth I faces threats at home and abroad, as Mary, Queen of Scots plots against her while the King of Spain builds a vast armada to undertake an invasion of England. Unable to reconcile her feelings for the dashing Sir Walter Raleigh with her duty to her country, the monarch engineers a romance between the courtier and one of her ladies-in-waiting. Historical drama sequel, with Cate Blanchett, Clive Owen, Geoffrey Rush and Samantha Morton.

Death Wish 5: The Face of Death- (0)
23:05 - 00:05 - ITV 4
5.2/10 Stars

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Violent thriller starring Charles Bronson and Robert Joy, 1994. The hardened vigilante springs into action when his girlfriend's business is threatened by mobsters [AD,S]

The Descendants- (2011)
23:10 - 01:25 - Film 4
6.6/10 Stars

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A lawyer negotiating a land deal in Hawaii is forced to take a more active role in his two daughters' upbringing when a boating accident leaves his wife in a coma. He learns she was having an affair, a fact his friends and eldest child were keeping from him. With the two girls in tow, he sets off to find and confront her lover. Drama, with George Clooney, Shailene Woodley and Amara Miller.

The Last Stand- (2013)
23:25 - 01:15 - Channel 5
5.7/10 Stars

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Disgraced narcotics cop Ray Owens retires into a quiet life as sheriff of a small town on the Mexican border. He gets the chance to prove his worth as a law enforcer when a drug lord escapes from prison and tries to flee the country - with his escape route taking him through Ray's jurisdiction. Action thriller, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Johnny Knoxville and Forest Whitaker.

Passage Home- (0)
23:30 - 01:40 - Talking Pictures
0.0/10 Stars

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1955. Drama. Director: Roy Ward Baker. Starring: Peter Finch, Diane Cilento and Anthony Steel. A young woman comes to regret her rescue from a difficult situation in South America.

Cerberus- (2005)
23:50 - 01:35 - Movies4Men
4.1/10 Stars

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A historian is forced into helping a gang leader steal the mystical sword of Attila the Hun, said to grant the wielder supernatural powers. The theft of the weapon causes a monstrous three-headed dog with a taste for human flesh to be unleashed into the world. Horror, starring Emmanuelle Vaugier and Sebastian Spence.

Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning- (2012)
00:05 - 01:05 - ITV 4
5.1/10 Stars

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A man awakens from a coma to find his family has been murdered, and seeks revenge on the man responsible - a soldier brought back to life in a government experiment. His search leads him to an army of these resurrected soldiers, who are plotting a revolution. Sci-fi thriller sequel, with Scott Adkins, Dolph Lundgren and Jean-Claude Van Damme.

Ash Wednesday- (2002)
00:05 - 01:40 - BBC 2
5.3/10 Stars

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A reformed New York mobster tangles with his former cronies when his supposedly dead brother reappears on the scene and old rivalries are reignited, giving the siblings no choice but to flee the city and leave their past behind them. Thriller, directed by and starring Edward Burns. With Elijah Wood and Rosario Dawson.

Elizabeth: the Golden Age- (2007)
00:10 - 01:25 - ITV 3
6.4/10 Stars

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Queen Elizabeth I faces threats at home and abroad, as Mary, Queen of Scots plots against her while the King of Spain builds a vast armada to undertake an invasion of England. Unable to reconcile her feelings for the dashing Sir Walter Raleigh with her duty to her country, the monarch engineers a romance between the courtier and one of her ladies-in-waiting. Historical drama sequel, with Cate Blanchett, Clive Owen, Geoffrey Rush and Samantha Morton.

Sexy Killer- (2008)
00:40 - 02:30 - Horror Channel
4.6/10 Stars

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Riotous horror comedy. A femme fatale fashionista at a trendy design school embarks on a brutal and bloody killing spree while gleefully evading the hapless cops assigned to the murder cases. (2008)

The Iceman- (2012)
00:50 - 02:35 - Channel 4
6.4/10 Stars

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A Mob henchman becomes one of the criminal underworld's most notorious contract killers, responsible for the deaths of over 100 men. He conceals his activities behind the normal facade of an all-American family man for years, keeping his wife and daughters in the dark about his deadly profession. Fact-based crime drama, starring Michael Shannon, Winona Ryder and Chris Evans.

Sioux City- (1994)
01:00 - 03:00 - True Entertainment
7.0/10 Stars

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An adopted native American who sets out to visit his birth mother but arrives to find that she has recently died, and resolves to investigate the mystery of her final days. Drama, directed by and starring Lou Diamond Phillips, with Salli Richardson, Melinda Dillon and Lise Cutter.

Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning- (2012)
01:10 - 02:15 - ITV 4
5.1/10 Stars

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A man awakens from a coma to find his family has been murdered, and seeks revenge on the man responsible - a soldier brought back to life in a government experiment. His search leads him to an army of these resurrected soldiers, who are plotting a revolution. Sci-fi thriller sequel, with Scott Adkins, Dolph Lundgren and Jean-Claude Van Damme.

The Number 23- (2006)
01:25 - 03:20 - Film 4
6.2/10 Stars

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An amiable dog-catcher is given a murder mystery novel as a gift from his wife. As he begins to read the book, it becomes apparent that there are startling similarities between the story and Walter's own past, leading him to become obsessed with the publication. Walter begins to share the central character's fixation with the number 23, believing that it is the key to a deadly secret. Thriller, starring Jim Carrey, Virginia Madsen and Logan Lerman.

A Likely Story- (1947)
01:35 - 03:20 - Movies4Men
5.2/10 Stars

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An American GI overhears the diagnosis of another patient and mistakenly believes he only has a short time left to live, so a young artist takes it upon herself to prove to him that he is fine. Comedy, starring Barbara Hale, Bill Williams and Sam Levene.

Superchick- (1973)
01:40 - 03:30 - Talking Pictures
3.9/10 Stars

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1973. Comedy. Directed by Ed Forsyth and stars Joyce Jillson, Louis Quinn and Thomas Reardon. Flight attendant Tara B True has a man in New York, L.A. and Miami, and is always ready to be a Superchick

Crawl or Die- (2014)
02:30 - 04:20 - Horror Channel
4.6/10 Stars

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An elite security team assigned the task of protecting the last known woman who can become pregnant, find themselves caught in an endless claustrophobic underground tunnel system. Horror, starring Nicole Alonso, Torey Byrne and Tommy Ball.